Hulk Dash 10 - Korsan Bar 13/12/09

I don't remember, was this the one Richie was supposed to play at but didn't? I think so. What the fuck was up with all the spanish squatters in attendance? Yeah I remember now, oh god I didn't like anyone who played or attended this evening, oh yeah and the worst offenders were the Korsan bar owners who managed to be even more abhorrent than the crusty spanish squatters, which I honestly thought was impossible.

Anyway, I feel sorry for Guiseppe who organised it and had a terrible night with every cunt there being pissed off with him. Live and learn though eh.

Hulk Dash 9 - Korsan Bar 19/07/09

So Hulk Dash celebrates its first birthday. Here's some stuff that happened, I think I missed a couple of acts but shit happens you know, sometimes I need to smoke a cigarette, or cook some sausages on the barbecue. Yeah, there was a barbecue, promoters take note. Anyway...

Opening proceedings, Jack Shirt played some kind of Clangers on ketamine synth stuff and segued nicely into an unsettling fairground guitar section before ending it all with some drone. Lovely stuff from the little man in the shoes. Shortly after that, Lion Lies Down ran around a circular drum set up incorporating the world's tiniest cymbal, played some really cheesy little guitar melodies and sang vocals through a kind of gurgling effect pedal, sometimes all at once, sometimes not at all, sometimes really good, sometimes not at all.

Then I missed some guys playing at the bar. Then Kayaking went fucking nuts. There's no other way to explain it. And Cau_cational Betreet somehow followed that up and fucking destroyed with possibly their heaviest set ever, sounding like a metal band getting its head kicked in and run over by a tank.

Hooray for Hulk Dash, may it live for many years to come.

Hulk Dash 6 - Korsan Bar 29/11/08

The free barbecue was cancelled! Disappointed, I hoped the acts would make up for it, they were certainly abundant enough to give it a shot. So abundant in fact that I kept missing them simply by going out for a cigarette.

Highlights included the end bit (the only bit I caught) of Ghouls of Reduction's noise noodlings, extnddntwrk's confused terrorist playing confused music act, **k's bricklaying paced set that amounted to a skyscraper and Toxic Pijin's raucous bread throwing music. Special mention must also go to Cementimental for flipping some switch in half of Ghouls of Reduction's mind and sending him satellite dish smashing loco, rolling all over everything and kicking in drums.

The only lowlight was Smash T.V. who were being irritating luminous dicks all night, displaying the kind of skinny wideboy bragadocio that makes you want to take an axe to their faces and culminating in a giant, shithouse, audibly garish jerk off set of shit MCing over shit gabba and the type of bleeping that makes you feel like you're being poked in the head by the local fuckwit. And the fuckwit is wearing a hat with shit graffiti on it. And an ironic bright red unignorable sweatshirt. And that was it really. Luckily they were last so leaving during their bouncing shitfest wasn't an issue.

But lets not let that detract from the rest of night which was bloody good fun. Thanks Hulk Dash, see you next time.